Lobola not cause of GBV, says marriage counselor

Tue, 14 Feb 2017 09:57:44 +0000

 

By MARY KACHEPA

A TRADITIONAL counselor has rubbished reports that high lobola prices are contributing to the increasing number of gender based violence (GBV) cases.

Mrs Iress Phiri, Zambia National Traditional Counselors president said lack of love, cruelty, the person’s mindset and infidelity are the causes of GBV, adding that lobola was important traditionally and it was not the reason for gender based violence.

Mrs. Phiri said that no one could give out their daughter for free but that lobola should be kept within limit and not K25,000 or K30,000 because that was too much.

But she said no matter how much was paid for lobola it did not have any connection to gender based violence.

“You cannot say that because I have paid I need to beat my wife or that the other person should die. No, lobola is a symbol of appreciation and gender based violence is an act of selfishness,” she added

Meanwhile, association board member Redges Mubiana said no amount of lobola could make a man batter his wife because even in other cultures like India where the family of the bride pay the bride price to the family of the groom, some women were victims of gender based violence.

She said that there were some men that paid huge amounts for lobola but still did not batter their spouses while others pay very little and yet abuse their wives.

“I witnessed a case in Southern Province where a woman was retrieved from the marriage by a non-governmental organization because she was mistreated and the man kept saying ‘I paid’ because in his mind paying lobola is buying,” she said.

Mrs Mubiana added that some families charge more because of the investment that they have made in the girl and feel the man will benefit more; for example if the girl is a teacher, the family feels the man will benefit more.

“If a girl is impregnated, the lobola is not that much because there has been a damage; that’s why when a girl is a virgin and/or educated the parents charge more because of their effort in educating her,” she said.

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