HERE AND THERE

By PHILIP CHIRWA

HOW ANOYMOUS WORKMATE CAME TO ‘SMELLY’ LIZ’S RESCUE!

“SHOULD we tell her?” That was the six million dollar question which confronted the minds of the workers at Lusaka’s Sibongile Business Enterprise Limited. The “her” referred to Liz Jalako, a 23-year-old sales rep who was discovered to have acquired an unpleasant odour after she returned from a month’s leave.
Prior to her going on leave, Liz was the darling of her workmates, especially the male folks who found her shapely figure, her stiff, succulent breasts and her sexy eyes quite tantalising, Indeed, it used to be said that the male workers looked forward to coming for work just to feast their eyes on beauties like Liz.
However, upon her return from leave, it was soon found that Liz was not the same girl that her workmates had always admired. She had acquired a “funny” smell which her workmates found unpleasant. But then, the big question was: would it be morally right to tell her about her condition?

At first, the general feeling was that Liz’s condition was perhaps just a passing phase and that she would soon retain her former self. But as the situation started to get worse, it was felt that something had to be done about it, especially after some clients complained that they were not happy with the girl.
One of the clients had put it bluntly to Liz’s immediate supervisor: “If you want business with me, don’t send that girl to me. Each time she comes here, I have to switch on the fan. But for how long am I going to be doing that?” he asked.
Liz’s close friends were asked to help but they declined, saying that they didn’t want her to hate them because they knew she wouldn’t take it kindly to being informed of her condition. “Tell her yourself,” they would answer anybody who pleaded with them to help.

Meanwhile, Liz worked normally, apparently unaware of the gossip surrounding her. This was due to the fact that her workmates did not show it openly: in her presence, they would pretend everything was alright but as soon as she was out of their sight, they would start talking ill of her.
One of the workers, an office orderly called John Wachifundo, felt pity for poor Liz because he knew people were talking very ill of her, although she was not even aware of it.
He resolved to tell her about it somehow, and this is what he did: he wrote an anonymous letter to Liz, which he sent by post.
The letter written in a Zambian language but hereunder translated into English, read as follows:
“Dear sissy Liz,

I know you will be surprised to receive this letter which does not bear the writer’s name. Never mind about this, suffice to say that it originates from somebody who has a genuine liking for you. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. You are such a nice young lady, very cheerful and I love you so much.
“However, over the past few weeks following your return from leave, I have observed something about your smell. I don’t know whether the other workers are aware of this, but I’m quite convinced that your body needs a little more attention to remove the unpleasant odour.

“If this offensive odour is due to lack of cleanliness on your part – which I doubt very much seeing that you still look so smart externally – then it is within your power to correct the situation yourself, otherwise I would advise you to see Dr Zagwazatha of House No. MS123, Mulamba Section, Misisi Compound.
He will treat you once and for all. You won’t regret it, that I can assure you. I should know better because I was once a beneficiary of his services. Yours, Anonymous Adviser.”
Believe it or not, Wachifundo’s trick worked beautifully. The other workers in the company had no idea as to what had happened; for all they discovered was that Liz’s offensive odour had suddenly disappeared….!
.The author is a Lusaka-based media consultant and freelance writer. For comments, sms 0977425827, whastsapp 0777259558 or email: pchirwa2022@yahoo.com