Don’t hurt others, then ask them to heal – Mutubila

Ösays apology is not a performance, regret is not a trend as he advises that if one is truly sorry, then their actions should prove it, consistently, humbly, quietly

By NATION REPORTER

VETERAN broadcaster and communications expert Frank Mutubila has urged Zambians to embrace genuine accountability and resist the culture of emotional manipulation disguised as remorse.
In a deeply reflective message shared on Sunday, Mr. Mutubila has warned against the tendency to demand quick forgiveness from those who have been hurt, stressing that healing was a personal journey that could not be dictated by the perpetrator of harm.
“Don’t hurt people, then expect them to heal on your timeline,” Mr. Mutubila wrote. “Yes, we all make mistakes. We have hurt good people. We’ve failed those who loved us, broken those who trusted us, and in some cases, turned gentle souls into hardened ones. That is the reality of human error.”
He emphasized that while it is human to err and divine to forgive, this truth should not become a license for repeated wrongdoing or a justification to demand absolution without true change.
“To err is human but to forgive is divine—this truth is not a passport to keep hurting people. It is not a license to cause pain, then quickly whisper ‘I’m sorry’ and expect applause from the universe,” he stated. “It is not a justification to bruise someone, then act surprised when they don’t smile through the bleeding.”Mr. Mutubila decried societal tendencies that often protect and uplift wrongdoers while pressuring victims to move on in the name of maturity and peace.
“What breaks my heart is the way the world often demands kindness from the already wounded,” he said. “The victim is told to forgive fast, act mature, and move on while the one who caused the damage is comforted, even celebrated, for simply saying sorry.
That is not divine. That is manipulation. That is evil dressed in virtue.”He cautioned that apologies should not be treated as public performances, and that true remorse must be demonstrated through consistent and humble actions—not theatrics.
“Apology is not a performance. Regret is not a trend,” he said. “If you are truly sorry, then let your actions prove it—consistently, humbly, quietly.”