ARE YOU STILL TROUBLED BY YOUR CHILD’S EXAM RESULTS?

Mon, 30 Nov -0001 00:00:00 +0000

I KNOW that some of you expected better performance from your children after the grade 7, 9 or 12 examinations. In some cases, it is the children themselves who were shocked beyond imagination because they expected better results. Whatever the case is, we have to move on.

Well let us see what causes unexpected results and how to deal with the situation. There are certain extreme cases where a child fails to recover from shocking results and this has consequences. I am sure by now, everybody has moved on in terms of getting back to school.

EXPECTATIONS

As far as possible, a child should be allowed to take in what the teachers make available for him in as natural a way/pace as possible. If the child is too slow, a little push is necessary but too much of it is academically fatal. If the child is over speeding, measures have to be put in place to stabilise things otherwise there will soon be an academic crash.

When parents have abnormally high expectations which are far above the child’s ability, they cause problems which interfere with the child’s natural pace of learning and an academic crash may occur.

It is important to recognise the correct dose of pushing a child. Too much pushing may yield very poor results. The pushing may be in form of career choice.

Some parents may push a child to pursue a natural science-oriented career when in fact the child may want a career in the behavioural sciences and the converse is also true.

The conflict overweighs the child and puts out the little inner flame which burns in all children no matter how society perceives them.

Sometimes it is the child himself who has abnormally high expectations. He may spend long hours studying without understanding anything because he is preoccupied with the future.

He may spend half of his time building castles in the air instead of studying, learning or doing Homework. Such a child may be pre-occupied with the final results and as such fail to live in the present time.

Examples of manifestations of incorrect unnatural pace are over-studying, overconfidence, inflated ego, little or no study at all, abnormal study methods, low self esteem, nervousness, childish behaviour, indifference, over ambitious, and “surrender-ism.”

In very rare cases, a teacher may unknowingly fuel abnormally high expectations in a child by the way he reacts towards him. The child may go into panic mode when he realises that actually the teacher expects much much more from him but way beyond what he can manage.

The result is that the child gets confused to the extent of failing the examinations. Another problem comes in when the teacher or parent expect the child to fail and they show it so it comes to pass if the child buys that thought as well.

You may wish to know that sometimes a child may shock the parents, the teacher and even himself by performing much better than they all expected but how is that?

Any human being has the ability to overcome obstacles no matter how hard they may be. Such children are not distracted by parents, teachers or fellow pupils who have a very low opinion of them.

They defy all odds and bring out an impressive turn out which is examination results which are higher than expected. When such a thing happens, you should see the beaming faces of the parents or the pleasantly surprised teachers.

Never underrate anyone on this earth!

Simply put, abnormal expectation levels to either end of the continuum will harm the intellectual ladder inside the child and the manifestation of shocking Examination results will be the order of the day. Apart from abnormal expectations what else can alter examination results? There are a number of other factors.

HEALTH

Undetected illness can lead to a good pupil performing badly at school. A child who is anaemic for example, may feel tired all the time but is unable to explain, pinpoint or let alone know the source of fatigue. Studying and learning will definitely be affected and so unexpectedly poor results will come up.

Some children may not be aware of certain ailments that may develop slowly along the way. A child who has sight problems for example may not be aware of it until when studies intensify near exam time and this may have a negative effect on his academic performance at the end of grade 9 or 12 despite doing exceptionally well all along.

Little workaholics may develop bad eating habits as they study for their final examinations. They think that eating properly balanced meals is a waste of time as they just want to study.

Junking up on food is not advisable because the young brain needs proper nourishment for that child to perform well. You can guess the end result of refusing to eat proper meals. A genius ends up with poor results!

SOCIO- ECONOMIC ISSUES

There are times when a child who has been doing well all the time suddenly has their academic curve nose diving and parents start wondering why.

There are many factors related to these unexpected results. Things like separation or even divorce of parents creates an effect equivalent to ingested poison on the child.

Actually even a single event of gender-based violence witnessed by a child at home has long lasting negative effects on the child which may only show after writing the final examinations.

Another disturbance on children is poverty. This is more evident when the family economy changes for the worst. If for example a parent loses a job or has to surrender property due to non payment of something and the child has full knowledge of everything, his academic performance will change in no time and can come up with an achievement lower than anticipated.

In the case of the girl-child, it could be that the child has been sexually assaulted or defiled so they carry an invisible burden and fail the final examinations yet all along her performance was excellent.

In certain cases, the child is involved in child labour due to economic situations and has no chance to prepare himself well enough for an examination of high magnitude.

Sometimes the scale of house chores is too high at home due to sickness of guardians etc so the child is affected at the last minute of examinations.

REMEDIES

How do you handle unexpected examination results of your child? Well if your child has been failing Mock Exams but surprisingly passes the final exam just rejoice because he could have worked hard at the last minute.

Now the problem comes when you expected something better than what materialised and you are in a confused state.

The first normal reaction by any parent or guardian is to erupt like a volcano with hot lava   squirting and landing on the child and his immediate surroundings.

This is an expected reaction and I would classify it as normal but wait, hold your fire! Quickly make an effort to calm down. You may have come across certain techniques of calming yourself down, please use them.

It is well understood that a lot of money, time and effort was spent on this child who has performed below expectation but prolonged volcanic fire (unmanaged anger) will destroy the little that is left in that child.

•           Calm yourself down by putting your forefinger between your lips and silently count up to 10 slowly. Trust me by the time you reach 10, you would have cooled down and your speech will be reasonable. Your reasoning will also be in tip-top condition! I know this technique sounds funny and almost silly to an annoyed parent.

•           Do an analysis of what could have caused the poor performance when actually the child was doing well all along. Is it because of your abnormally high expectations! Is it the child’s fault or anything else beyond the child’s control?

The analysis will make you feel better and help you with the way forward whether the results present a repeat case or proceeding to the next grade with an academic limp.

•           Involve the child in planning for the way forward. Let the child know that you are not happy with the poor performance and let the child use this poor result as a wake-up call to perform better next time.

Failure is a stepping stone so let the child learn a lesson and get up to start afresh. When you fall you must get up and move on. No one should fall and remain in that position forever.

•           When your message is clear to the child about your displeasure of the poor academic performance, wind down slowly and befriend the child to bring back that little flame which was almost put out.

Help the child discover other talents and abilities which are outside the school curriculum. Appraise the child of anything which he does well at home and this could be cleaning, cooking, child care or gardening.

This appraisal is important to replace the lost self-worth in the child after receiving poor school results. A crushed child will continue performing badly so you may waste more and more resources if you don’t help him raise that lost self esteem.

•           If the child is still hurting even after you have made friends with him, arrange quality time with him and please bear in mind his age and generation gap issues. You could watch live soccer together or go for a drive to a destination of his choice etc.

If his self esteem still does not come up, please arrange to meet with his teachers who know his other side and they will help you motivate him. If this still does not work then you may need professional child counsellors who will bring the child back to normal after a few sessions.

If this Newspaper was mine I could have gone on and on because the remedies are inexhaustible. Wish you well with the hunt for school places!