Dear Editor,
I HAVE heard it said by many men, husbands to be specific that women stop taking good care of themselves when married or when they have kids hence them resorting to admiring and dating other women that take good care of themselves.
Well in the voice of comrade Seer-1, you are a fool, an idiot, you don’t have brains if you harbour such sentiments towards women or wives.
As one man that has had to do motherly duties since the day my son was born and still do: waking up to check on him, feeding him each time he wakes up, changing his diapers, bathing him, staying up for hours if he doesn’t get back to bed even when I have to go for work early in the morning, well I will share my story on my days as a mother so some of you men can understand why our women look the way they do.
Well, aside of the fact that a woman’s body changes by virtue of giving birth and having to endure post birth pain, post partum issues our women/wives really have no rest even when the babies are slightly grown. Here is how my day goes as a “mother” and this is once or twice in a week
On a lucky day my son sleeps around 23 hours, sometimes even later and wakes up once or twice in between his sleeping and waking up time which is 06hours or 07 hours. No matter how little I would have slept, I too wake up, make him food and join him playing.
By waking up at an unplanned hour the bed remains unmade, the house unswept, if there were dishes left unwashed they remain thus. On a good day I squeeze a face wash and stay on till whatever time he takes a nap which mostly lasts an hour or two and while you would think I would take a nap too and rest, I don’t.
Instead. I use his sleeping time to make the bed, clean the house, do dishes, clothes if any, take a shower and have my meal if he would still be sleeping.
If not I wait till he takes a second nap which is in the evening and then I take my shower. So all during the day I smell baby food, formula, sweat, maybe even a little poop and urine.
My hair remains uncombed, my clothes unchanged with stains of baby food till there is good time to really clean up. By the time I go to bed at my son’s own time I am dead tired both mentally and physically with the same cycle continuing the next day.
Now this is just once or twice in a week for me yet our women/wives do this daily for months or years and we expect them to look like divas who have no children or have them but choose to neglect all to look cleaned up in motherhood, it’s not possible!
If for a day, a week or two we had to switch genders and roles most of us men would have anxiety and depression. And so instead of foolishly disparaging our women for the way they look owing to the work they do in taking care of our children how about we tell them we see their input and appreciate them.
Life would be chaotic without them. It is no easy job being a mother.
To All Mothers, Happy Mother’s Day Once More, We Are Nothing Without You.
MBANGA IRVINE ILUKUI,
Fayetteville, Arkansas.
United States of America.
One day as a mother
