On marriage: Its not good for a man to be alone

Sun, 29 Jan 2017 10:03:21 +0000


By Pastor Jasper Mutale

“The Lord God said, `It is not good for the man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him’… So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds of the air and all the beasts of the field.  But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 

So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, He took one of the man’s ribs and closed up the place with flesh.  Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man.  The man said, `This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called `woman, for she was taken out of man.’  For this reason a man will LEAVE his father and mother and be united (CLEAVE) to his wife, and they will become ONE FLESH.”  Therefore, three things need to happen in a marriage:

LEAVING: leaving the authority and protection of the original family must take place at the time of marriage.  Leaving is the process of letting go of some attitudes and habits of one who is single, and taking on the responsibilities of marriage.  It includes a change from dependence upon parents to a shared dependence with your partner.  From considering “me” to thinking of “us”.  A new independent relationship is being built.

CLEAVING: means to stick, join or cling together. Therefore, cleaving speaks of a close personal relationship which is characterised by a selfless love for each other.  In taking a part from Adam to create Eve, God is emphasising their equality in being, for they are both made from the same material.  When a man loves his wife, he is being obedient to God.  God did not create a slave or a house servant for Adam.  The teaching of Genesis is that the two will stick together as suitable mates who will provide for each other friendship and companionship. Cleaving must take place in 3 ways:

In their minds. Matt. 19:6 “So they are  no longer two, but one.  Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”  They must know that they have been joined together and cannot break the marriage. In their feelings.  They think about what will please the other one. In their actions.  They work and talk together and help each other in and outside the home.  They become a team.

ONE FLESH: the meaning of “one flesh” is much more than just in the physical sense – it includes also a joining together to become one emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually.  The husband and wife can share their joys, sorrows, hopes and fears.  There is a growing for one another.

They share their thoughts.  In this way they get to know each other’s way of thinking.  This will help in making a decision in the absence of one partner.  The purpose of marriage is to produce godly offspring.  Read Mal. 2:15.

Woman is GOD’S GIFT to man. God said in Gen. 2:18 “It is not good for man to be alone.”

Prov. 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.”

Eccl. 4:9 “Two are better than one…”

Wives Nation are God’s GREATEST GIFT to man for companionship and for procreation.  The word “helper” in Gen. 2:18 means to provide what is needed or lacking.

The idea is someone who can assist and support and supplement him so that he can accomplish what could not have been accomplished otherwise.  Marriage is something new that is beginning.

God said it is not good for man to be alone.  It is not sufficient.  Even though Adam had a beautiful garden to live in, and lovely food to eat, and a picturesque landscape to dwell in, he still lacked something – a wife, a helper suitable for him.  We also read Nation how God caused Adam to sleep and He made woman from Adam’s rib near his heart.  Someone also like him in image, but different.  According to Gen. 1:27 “God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.”

Then God gave her to Adam as a gift.  So here we find that the reason God created woman was for man.  This was the first marriage relationship in the Bible and God told them to be fruitful and multiply.  And everything God made was good.

Therefore the wife is to be her husband’s helper, companion and friend in life. Someone who stands by him to help him fulfil God’s will and purpose for his life.We must clearly understand God’s principles of authority and submission in order to understand the roles of wife and husband.  God instituted the principle of submission.  This principle was put there by God in the beginning Church

Phil.  2:5 “Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant.”  The wife submits to her husband’s SERVANTHOOD (his ministry).  Peter, in embarrassment, did not want Jesus to serve him.  He was refusing to submit to the ministry of Jesus.  It is this ministry that elevates the person submitting to it.  This is how a wife, in her submission, is made great by her husband: she shows honour and respect to his calling as a husband. She allows him to be provider, protector and preserver. She never challenges his headship

Jesus did nothing of His own accord.  He only did what the Father did (Read John 5:19-30).  He was submissive to the Father out of a love so strong that He said: “Not My will, but Thine be done.”  It was His heart’s delight to please the Father.  He was EQUAL YET SUBMISSIVE.  This submission was not limited to Jesus’ days on earth.  It is part of the eternal relationship between Father and Son.  There is no inferiority here.  He is also God.

1 Cor. 11:3 “Now I want you to realise that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”  Note  Jesus’ submission to Father God.

Let us read again Church Eph. 5:22-24 “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of  which He is the Saviour.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”  Both husband and wife are EQUAL, but the wife has a different role to the husband.  It does not mean that the wife is inferior.

Just as the man is made in the image of God Church, so too is the woman.  Both are completely equal before God in creation. While the wife is completely equal to the man, she is not exactly the same as the man. God created Eve to be Adam’s friend.  She was to be a helper, but not a servant.  If a man in any way mistreats a woman because he thinks she is less than he, then he is in great error.  He has committed the sin of treating someone created in the image of God as something lower than himself.

Therefore the word SUBMIT in Eph. 5:22-24 does not refer to someone of a lower class such as a slave or servant.  Submit refers (in Greek) to a “VOLUNTARY CHOICE” on the part of an equal.  It refers to AN ATTITUDE OF THE HEART.  This is opposite to the idea of slavery.  This submitting is out of love and obedience to God.  It is God’s order of Headship as Christ is Head of the church.  To say that women are inferior, is to say Christ is inferior to the Father which is not true.  Christ is subject to the Father and, in the same way, the wife is subject to her husband.  The concepts of authority and submission have become perverted in so many ways by worldly thinking.

The REBELLION of a wife against her husband Church is exactly the same spirit as that of a disobedient Church (body of Christ) against the Head which is Christ.  The wife should voluntarily accept her husband’s authority as unto the Lord, even as Christ accepts the authority of the Father.  There is a great truth that a wife who in faith and patience submits to her husband’s authority, moves God to make the husband a responsible, caring head.  This can be a big test for a woman, but God honours the wife who submits to her husband out of obedience to Him.

There is also a QUALIFIED SUBMISSION referred to in Eph. 5:22-24:  “Submit to your OWN husbands.”  1 Pet. 3:7 “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner (vessel) and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.”

As the weaker vessel, the wife is the one who is to be provided for, cared for, protected and preserved and not the opposite Church.  God did not design a woman to fend for herself and rely on her own resources you as the husband have to fend food for her.

For now God bless you and cause you to prosper in your relationship in Jesus’ Name Amen!


For prayer and advice kindly reach me at jasper.mutale@yahoo.com or 0966487131


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